Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
