you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
