why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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