Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
