I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
