i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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