Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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