I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
