first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
