..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
