i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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