Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
