Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
