i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
