My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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