Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
God, I missed his penis.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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