Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize