Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
