Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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