I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
me + whiskey = a bad person
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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