does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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