...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
