Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
