Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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