Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
