The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
