If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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