I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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