this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
