yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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