Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
