I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
