Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
