Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dicks are not precious.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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