Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
