i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
