Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
