I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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