just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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