Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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