North Korea, Best Korea!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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