farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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