Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
