he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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