evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
