Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
