is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
