They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
