I need help removing her.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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