Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
too bad you live with your parents still
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
