Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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