I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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