he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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