The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
